Feel Empty

Everyone is asking how I'm doing, Well after what I been though and what I went though I will probably never get the picture out of my head ( I know it going to take time) . This the hardest Christmas for me to deal with this year. I just feel very empty inside.
It really hard for me to see anyone pregnant, To hear about other being pregnant, Or hearing or talking about baby. Or to even go in the baby department at stores.. Even when people ask me how I'm doing I just start to cry . I find myself cryign when I'm alone ( So my son don't see me or hear me).
Not to be mean I wish people would understand this I know I need to talk about it and get it out . I have people to talk to about it that help me daily deal with I'm going though.. I just can't be around other that want to talk babies, being pregnant or ask me tons of question about what happen. I'm sorry but it really dose hurt me alot inside and I may look fine and seem fine . But deep deep down inside I'm HURTTING and missing my baby ! Even sitting here letting you all know how I'm feeling, I cry wondering what happen, What went wrong???
I really don't know what I would done without My Sisters or My Mom and My Friends, and My Doctors. What I'm going though they been here for me everyday and making sure I'm ok supporting me alot. Thank you Jen, Beth and Mom, I love you all !
Well I need to go rest and try to get some sleep If I can , I'm sick and these meds making me sleepy.
Good Nite
Merry Christmas
Love & Hugs Sue