What Mommy Got Made For You

I love you and miss you Angel Lily ((( Hugs N Kisses ))) Mommy's Angel

A MOTHER QUESTIONS GOD!!

A MOTHER QUESTIONS GOD!!

Dear God,

I don't know if you can hear me. I know that you get a lot of prayers, but I am a mother whose baby is up there...

Something terrible happened. I think you made a mistake. See, I was gonna have a baby, but for some reason you took it away...

See, God, I'm trying so hard no to be angry, but I have no one to blame. For I was this child's mother and now I will never be the same...

God? Do you hear me? I pray to you every night. I get so frustrated as the tears run down my face. I hurt so bad inside, yet it won't go away...

I try not to cry, but it seems like my eyes have become a lake, there's always water in them. And sometimes it rains and the tears, they overflow God...

God, I begin to cry as I ask Why? Why? Why? This is not fair! Why did this happen to me? Yet you refuse to answer me! What kind of God must you be...

God, my husband, he tried so very hard to make me smile, but he cannot undo what has been done. Yet he never cries. Makes me feel like I'm alone...Well this was until the other night....

He woke me from a sleep, continuously flowing, his eyes began to weep. He grabbed my hand gently and kissed my forehead as he said "come look at our baby's footsteps." Confused and puzzled I stumbled to see...

That all his teardrops formed two little feet...

As I sit here alone in the bed I started thinking about what I had said. When out of the silence, God spoke to me and this is what he said...

"My child, these tears I cry for you. For I am a God of Mercy and I lost a child too. For your child did not suffer and my child died in vein. I am a God that's gracious in so many ways. Yes, I took your child, but not because of anything you've done... I gave you the chance to make me an Angel, the greatest gift a mother can give to her God. The mothers of my Angels are special- that's why I chose you. But I'll let you in on a little secret that will bring a smile to your face..."

"When your child was in Heaven, before I sent him your way, your baby was my special Angel that I promised a perfect mom. So as I sat down and opened the 'Mommy Book' that precious little Angel took just one look and said..."

"God, I want that one to be my mommy"

"I looked up with tears in my eyes and said ' Sorry- no can do. That mommy, she's not for you.'

"Why is that?" the Lil Angel asked.

I replied, "For that mommy, her baby will not survive."

The little Angel looked up at me with tears in his eyes. "But please God! For HER...I would die!"

For I could tell the Angel was so sincere, despite what I had told him, I sent him here...

As a smile crossed my face a tear rolled down my cheek. To know of all the mommies in the whole wide world, that special Angel chose me...

So if you are the mommy of an Angel- you are a special mommy. Because you, yourself, were chosen by God and for some reason he chose that Special Angel just for you!

Miss you so much!!!

Angel Lily
angels sing above as they listen to mothers cry
they come down and comfort you and go back to the sky
we cant hear your voice or feel your touch
but us mothers can feel your love .

Angel Lily Charles Rip 12-20-2010

Angel Lily Charles Rip 12-20-2010

Even though you will never get to meet you Angel Lily Charles

I often wonder if you were a boy or a girl? , If you have big blue eyes like your big brother?

Did you know how much we loved you?

Did you know your big brother could say your names we had picked out for you

Addison ( Bubby called you addie) or Bentley.

How much we couldn't wait to meet you and give you hugs and kisses.

I picked to name you Angel Lily ,

Angel because I know you are our angel watching over mommy and your big brother and Daddy.

Lily because that is your daddy favorite flower and Christams lily are so pretty ,

And they will forever remind me of you and the fight you put up to stay with us.

Even though We may never hold you in our arms you are forever in our hearts

Not one day goes by your not in our thoughts or missed.

We never forget the sound of your heartbeat how much joy you gave us

We Love You

Mommy, Daddy ,and Big Brother.

Wrote by me Sue Charles about my angel baby I lost 12-20-2010 she was 101/2 weeks along .

I did have a baby !!!

These are Things I had made for Angel Lily Miss you so much !!

This pass week has been the hardest since I lost the baby before xmas, It been hard each day and each nite with having nightmares and Just keep from crying when I think about the baby or when I see woman who are pregnant. Or talking about babies . I thought get easier by now but it's not getting any easier and I knew going back to the doctor office and having to call everyone tell them I lost the baby I was going to have hard time doing it with crying and having issues telling them all.

Well I missed my first appt with doctor on Thursday after Christmas do to car trouble, But I did go to her this pass Thursday and I sat and talked to doctor for over 45 mins she was very nice and help me and hugged me when I cryed and sound to hearing baby heart beat in the room next to me I was in was the hardest since Tuesday December 21st when I lost the baby psyically(At home).

We talked and she testing me for 6 weeks every Friday to see if my Homere levels are going down and when they are at 0% Then I have to take about 6 pages full of test that she wants to run on me to see if they missed something from test they ran when I went to my first visit with the baby in November. She said that after talking to me and learning my family history and history when I was pregnant with Bryton and having him 6 weeks early. She wants to be very sure she didn't miss anything or try find that missing link...

Then she going to be sending me to a specialist about getting pageant again and If there was something missing example hormones or anything else how we handle it and work with them while I will be pregnant to keep from loosing the baby or having baby early like happened in the pass with these two pregnancey. She told me it was going to be hard the next few months still do to all these test and I be talking alot about baby and everything that happened while I was carrying baby. I really want to know what happpened what went wrong and I dont want to have to go though again , So I told her to start doing the test and see what happens and So I could know and I get pergnant agian baby and I be safe. I see her again Feb 24th to see what all the test tell us and what the next step is after all these test. Her last words was as she hugged me was Sue we will get you pergnant agian for last time :O) . I truely believe right after what I just went though that if we can and do have another it will be our last baby we have I couldnt go though again what I just went though never again or put baby though that again or my family It just really hard to deal with . My doctors want me to think about going to support group with other women that have lost baby and went ast far as I did where baby was a real baby .. I did tell my couserl that I would just give me information.

As I told you all back on christmas day I may look like doing good and feel good but in side me I feel empty and hurting bad I miss my baby !! And I know I need to cry more and get it out but really hard to do it with Bryton I dont want him to get upset . He worries now I dont wnat him to worry about anything. So I do cry when Im alone driving or when I go to bed at nite. I still have trouble being home alone . I know going to take more time then a few weeks to work though this and starting to feel comforable again and knowing our baby is our angel watching over our family..