20 Things Parents of Angels Wish You Would Remember
I saw this on SoulCysters.net it was posted by toshia, and I thought that I would pass it along.
1. I wish you would not be afraid to mention my baby. The truth is just because you never saw my baby doesn't mean he or she doesn't deserve your recognition.
2. I wish that if we did talk about my baby and I cried you didn't
think it was because you have hurt me by mentioning my baby. The truth is I need to cry and talk about my baby with you. Crying and emotional outbursts help me heal.
3. I wish that you could talk about my baby more than once. The truth is if you do, it reassures me that you haven't forgotten and that you do care and understand.
4. I wish you wouldn't think that I don't want to talk about my
baby. The truth is I love my baby and need to talk about him or her.
5. I wish you could tell me you are sorry my baby has died and that you are thinking of me. The truth is that it tells me you care.
6. I wish you wouldn't think what has happened is one big bad memory for me. The truth is the memory of my baby, the love I feel for my baby, the dreams I had and the memories I have created for my baby are all loving memories. Yes there are bad memories too but please understand that it's not all like that.
7. I wish you wouldn't pretend that my baby never existed. The truth is we both know I had a baby growing inside me.
8. I wish you wouldn't judge me because I am not acting the way you think I should be. The truth is grief is a very personal thing and we are all different people who deal with things differently.
9. I wish you wouldn't think if I have a good day I'm "over it" or if I have a bad day I am being unreasonable because you think I should be over it. The truth is there is no "normal" way for me to act.
10. I wish you wouldn't stay away from me. The truth is loosing my baby doesn't mean I'm contagious. By staying away you make me feel isolated, confused and like it is my fault.
11. I wish you wouldn't expect my grief to be "over and done with" in a few weeks, months, or years for that matter. The truth is it may get easier with time but I will never be "over" this.
12. I wish you wouldn't think that my baby wasn't really a baby and it was blood and tissue or a fetus. The truth is my baby was a human life. My baby had a soul, heart, body, legs, arms and a face. I have seen my baby's body and face. My baby was a real person.
13. My babies due date, Mothers Day, celebration times, the day my baby died and the day I lost my baby are all important and sad days for me. The truth is I wish you could tell me by words or by letter you are thinking of me on these days.
14. I wish you understood that losing my baby has changed me. The truth is I am not the same person I was before and will never be that person again. If you keep waiting for me to get back to ""normal" you will stay frustrated. I am a new person with new thoughts, dreams, beliefs, and values. Please try to get to know the real me-maybe you'll still like me.
15. I wish you wouldn't tell me I could have another baby. The truth is I want the baby I lost and no other baby can replace this baby. Babies aren't interchangeable. Besides, you do not know whether we have fertility problems too.
16. I wish you wouldn't feel awkward or uncomfortable talking about my baby or being near me. When you do, I can see it. The truth is it's not fair to make me feel uncomfortable just because you are.
17. I wish you wouldn't think that you'll keep away because all my friends and family will be there for me. The truth is, everyone thinks the same thing and I am often left with no one.
18. I wish you would understand that being around pregnant women is uncomfortable for me. The truth is I feel jealous.
19. I wish you wouldn't say that it's natures way of telling me something was wrong with my baby. The truth is my baby was perfect to me no matter what you think nature is saying.
20. I wish you would understand what you are really saying when you say "next time things will be okay". The truth is how do you know? What will you say if it happens to me again?
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I thought of you and closed my eyes,
And prayed to God today.
I asked what makes a Mother,
And I know I heard him say:
A mother has a baby,
This we know is true.
But, God, can you be a mother,
When your baby's not with you?
Yes, you can he replied,
With confidence in his voice.
I give many women babies,
When they leave is not thier choice.
Some I send for a lifetime,
And others for a day.
And some I send to feel your womb,
But theres no need to stay.
I just don't understand this God,
I want my baby here.
He took a breath and cleared his throat,
And then I saw a tear.
I wish that I could show you,
What your child is doing today,
If you could see your child smile,
With other children who say:
We go to earth and learn our lessons,
Of love and life and fear.
My mommy loved me oh so much,
I got to come straight here.
I feel so lucky to have a mom,
Who had so much love for me.
I learned my lessons very quickly,
My mommy set me free.
I miss my mommy oh so much,
But I visit her each day.
When she goes to sleep,
On her pillow's where I lay.
I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek,
And whisper in her ear.
"Mommy don't be sad today, I'm your baby and I'm here."
So you see my dear sweet one,
Your children are Ok.
Your babies are here in My home,
They'll be at heavens gate for you.
So now you see what makes a mother.
It's the feeling in your heart.
It's the love you had so much of,
Right from the very start.
Though some on earth may not realize you are a mother,
until their time is done.
They'll be up here with Me one day,
And you'll know that you're the best one!
~Author Unknown
And prayed to God today.
I asked what makes a Mother,
And I know I heard him say:
A mother has a baby,
This we know is true.
But, God, can you be a mother,
When your baby's not with you?
Yes, you can he replied,
With confidence in his voice.
I give many women babies,
When they leave is not thier choice.
Some I send for a lifetime,
And others for a day.
And some I send to feel your womb,
But theres no need to stay.
I just don't understand this God,
I want my baby here.
He took a breath and cleared his throat,
And then I saw a tear.
I wish that I could show you,
What your child is doing today,
If you could see your child smile,
With other children who say:
We go to earth and learn our lessons,
Of love and life and fear.
My mommy loved me oh so much,
I got to come straight here.
I feel so lucky to have a mom,
Who had so much love for me.
I learned my lessons very quickly,
My mommy set me free.
I miss my mommy oh so much,
But I visit her each day.
When she goes to sleep,
On her pillow's where I lay.
I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek,
And whisper in her ear.
"Mommy don't be sad today, I'm your baby and I'm here."
So you see my dear sweet one,
Your children are Ok.
Your babies are here in My home,
They'll be at heavens gate for you.
So now you see what makes a mother.
It's the feeling in your heart.
It's the love you had so much of,
Right from the very start.
Though some on earth may not realize you are a mother,
until their time is done.
They'll be up here with Me one day,
And you'll know that you're the best one!
~Author Unknown
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Gone From Us
Didn't get the chance to see our bump grow,
Or feel you move and kick inside,
Nor cradle you in our arms,
Didn't get the chance to sing you a lullaby,
Nor kiss you goodnight,
Now you are gone from us,
And there is many miles between us,
But you are close in our hearts,
And in every step we take,
You are the sun the moon,and the stars that follow us
by Sue Cowan
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Little Angel
For love that is lost,
Sad faces all around,
Smiles no more,
Bump has gone,
Arms are empty,
Hearts are broken,
Tears keep falling,
For our little angel,
Has gone to heaven,
Time will mend,
But heartache will never heal
by Sue Cowan
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I loved you the minute I heard your heartbeat. I loved you the minute you were born. Then I saw your face and fell in love some more. You were only a minute old but I knew I would die for you and to this day I still would. When you choose to have a child, you make a conscious decision to allow your heart to walk around... outside of your body. Put this on your status if you have children you love more than life.
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To The Child In My Heart
O precious, tiny, sweet little one
You will always be to me
Sp perfect, pure, and innocent
Just as you were meant to be.
We dreamed of you and of your life
And all that it would be
We waited and longed for you to come
And join our family.
We never had the chance to play,
To laugh, to rock to wiggle,
We long to hold you now
And listen to you giggle.
I'll always be your mother
He'll always be your dad.
You will always be our child,
The child that we had.
But now your gone... but yet your here.
We'll sense you everywhere.
You are our sorrow and our joy
There's love in every tear.
Just know our love goes deep and strong.
We'll forget you never --
The child we had, but never had,
And yet will have forever.
~Carol Parrot
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"Lily"
I never got to hold you, so why do my arms feel so empty?
I never got to see you smile, yet I know it would've been beautiful beyond belief.
It takes 40 weeks for a baby to be fully formed, yet it only took 40 seconds for you to be fully formed in my mind and my heart.
I hadn't met you yet, but I already knew you.
For 16 weeks you were a part of me, this tiny combination of me and your Daddy.
Without ever having laid eyes on you I could already see you.
You were going to be a tiny little thing, like your big sister Megan.
Your hair would be all ringlets, just like your big sister Elanie
I had even gotten my wish that you'd get your Daddy's beautiful eyes.
You had a name, a history, and a future that knew no limits.
In the blink of an eye, you were gone.
Panic and dread building in me as I watched the ultrasound screen and realized your heart was not beating.
Waiting and waiting, each second worse than the last as we waited for the doctor to come give us the news.
My thoughts increasingly frantic as I tried to convince myself that I had somehow missed something on that screen.
Fighting hysteria while the doctor used polite phrasing like "fetal demise" instead of saying "your baby is dead"
Trying to survive the following days as doctors depersonalized you even more, reducing you to such terms as "product of conception"
And now, trying to pick up the pieces. Trying to remember what it felt like to draw a proper breath.
No rest, even when I do sleep.
Waking to the immediate thought, Lily is gone.
And I miss her
By Unknown
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There's a special glow around you.
A Different Child
People notice
There's a special glow around you.
There's a special glow around you.
You grow
Surrounded by love,
Never doubting you are wanted;
Only look at the pride and joy
in your mother and father's eyes.
And if sometimes
Between the smiles
There's a trace of tears,
One day
You'll understand.
You'll understand
There was once another child
A different child
Who was in their hopes and dreams.
That child will never outgrow the baby clothes
That child will never keep them up at night
In fact, that child will never be any trouble at all.
Except sometimes, in a silent moment,
When mother and father miss so much
That different child.
May hope and love wrap you warmly
And may you learn the lesson forever
How infinitely precious
How infinitely fragile
Is this life on earth
One day, as a young man or woman
You may see another mother's tears
Another father's silent grief
Then you, and you alone
Will understand
And offer the greatest comfort.
When all hope seems lost,
You will tell them
With great compassion,
"I know how you feel.
I'm only here
Because my mother tried again."
By Unknown
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A MOTHER QUESTIONS GOD!!
Dear God,
I don't know if you can hear me. I know that you get a lot of prayers, but I am a mother whose baby is up there...
Something terrible happened. I think you made a mistake. See, I was gonna have a baby, but for some reason you took it away...
See, God, I'm trying so hard no to be angry, but I have no one to blame. For I was this child's mother and now I will never be the same...
God? Do you hear me? I pray to you every night. I get so frustrated as the tears run down my face. I hurt so bad inside, yet it won't go away...
I try not to cry, but it seems like my eyes have become a lake, there's always water in them. And sometimes it rains and the tears, they overflow God...
God, I begin to cry as I ask Why? Why? Why? This is not fair! Why did this happen to me? Yet you refuse to answer me! What kind of God must you be...
God, my husband, he tried so very hard to make me smile, but he cannot undo what has been done. Yet he never cries. Makes me feel like I'm alone...Well this was until the other night....
He woke me from a sleep, continuously flowing, his eyes began to weep. He grabbed my hand gently and kissed my forehead as he said "come look at our baby's footsteps." Confused and puzzled I stumbled to see...
That all his teardrops formed two little feet...
As I sit here alone in the bed I started thinking about what I had said. When out of the silence, God spoke to me and this is what he said...
"My child, these tears I cry for you. For I am a God of Mercy and I lost a child too. For your child did not suffer and my child died in vein. I am a God that's gracious in so many ways. Yes, I took your child, but not because of anything you've done... I gave you the chance to make me an Angel, the greatest gift a mother can give to her God. The mothers of my Angels are special- that's why I chose you. But I'll let you in on a little secret that will bring a smile to your face..."
"When your child was in Heaven, before I sent him your way, your baby was my special Angel that I promised a perfect mom. So as I sat down and opened the 'Mommy Book' that precious little Angel took just one look and said..."
"God, I want that one to be my mommy"
"I looked up with tears in my eyes and said ' Sorry- no can do. That mommy, she's not for you.'
"Why is that?" the Lil Angel asked.
I replied, "For that mommy, her baby will not survive."
The little Angel looked up at me with tears in his eyes. "But please God! For HER...I would die!"
For I could tell the Angel was so sincere, despite what I had told him, I sent him here...
As a smile crossed my face a tear rolled down my cheek. To know of all the mommies in the whole wide world, that special Angel chose me...
So if you are the mommy of an Angel- you are a special mommy. Because you, yourself, were chosen by God and for some reason he chose that Special Angel just for you!
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Tiny Footprints on a Mother's HeartDear God,
I don't know if you can hear me. I know that you get a lot of prayers, but I am a mother whose baby is up there...
Something terrible happened. I think you made a mistake. See, I was gonna have a baby, but for some reason you took it away...
See, God, I'm trying so hard no to be angry, but I have no one to blame. For I was this child's mother and now I will never be the same...
God? Do you hear me? I pray to you every night. I get so frustrated as the tears run down my face. I hurt so bad inside, yet it won't go away...
I try not to cry, but it seems like my eyes have become a lake, there's always water in them. And sometimes it rains and the tears, they overflow God...
God, I begin to cry as I ask Why? Why? Why? This is not fair! Why did this happen to me? Yet you refuse to answer me! What kind of God must you be...
God, my husband, he tried so very hard to make me smile, but he cannot undo what has been done. Yet he never cries. Makes me feel like I'm alone...Well this was until the other night....
He woke me from a sleep, continuously flowing, his eyes began to weep. He grabbed my hand gently and kissed my forehead as he said "come look at our baby's footsteps." Confused and puzzled I stumbled to see...
That all his teardrops formed two little feet...
As I sit here alone in the bed I started thinking about what I had said. When out of the silence, God spoke to me and this is what he said...
"My child, these tears I cry for you. For I am a God of Mercy and I lost a child too. For your child did not suffer and my child died in vein. I am a God that's gracious in so many ways. Yes, I took your child, but not because of anything you've done... I gave you the chance to make me an Angel, the greatest gift a mother can give to her God. The mothers of my Angels are special- that's why I chose you. But I'll let you in on a little secret that will bring a smile to your face..."
"When your child was in Heaven, before I sent him your way, your baby was my special Angel that I promised a perfect mom. So as I sat down and opened the 'Mommy Book' that precious little Angel took just one look and said..."
"God, I want that one to be my mommy"
"I looked up with tears in my eyes and said ' Sorry- no can do. That mommy, she's not for you.'
"Why is that?" the Lil Angel asked.
I replied, "For that mommy, her baby will not survive."
The little Angel looked up at me with tears in his eyes. "But please God! For HER...I would die!"
For I could tell the Angel was so sincere, despite what I had told him, I sent him here...
As a smile crossed my face a tear rolled down my cheek. To know of all the mommies in the whole wide world, that special Angel chose me...
So if you are the mommy of an Angel- you are a special mommy. Because you, yourself, were chosen by God and for some reason he chose that Special Angel just for you!
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When a baby arrives,
be it for a day, a month, a year or more,
or perhaps only a sweet flickering moment-
the fragile spark of a tender soul
the secret swell of a new pregnancy
the goldfish flutter known to only you-
you are unmistakeably changed...
the tiny footprints left behind on your heart
bespeak your name as Mother.
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Go ahead and mention my child,
The one that died, you know.
Don’t worry about hurting me further.
The depth of my pain doesn’t show.
Don’t worry about making me cry.
I’m already crying inside.
Help me to heal by releasing the tears that I try to hide.
I’m hurt when you just keep silent, pretending he didn’t exist.
I’d rather you mention my child,
Knowing that he has been missed.
You asked me how I was doing,
I say “pretty good” or “fine.”
But healing is something ongoing.
I feel it will take a lifetime.
~Author Unknown
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~~ ♥ I’m With you Mummy ♥ ~~
I wish I could hold you Mummy, And wipe those tears away,
I wish you could see me here, Walking with you today,
I’m always beside you Mummy, If only you could see,
I’m right here holding your hand, Just where I want to be.
Heaven is all around you Mummy, But your earthly eyes can’t yet see it,
Your loved ones walk on with you, And in your dreams you visit.
I listen to you Mummy, When you cry last thing at night,
I try to comfort you I really do, I try with all my might.
One day you’ll feel my touch Mummy, You will know that I am there,
A soft breeze will blow you, As I gently kiss your hair.
I never leave your side Mummy, I’m the whisper in the trees,
I’m the gentle spring time rain, I’m the softly falling leaves,
I really am all around you Mummy, Reaching out with all my love,
Your Angel now and always, Sent from heaven's skies above.
Another precious poem by Christine Bevington 2011
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Or so I've heard it said.
But I can hear her crying at night
When all others are in bed.
I watch her lay awake at night
And go to hold her hand.
She doesn't know I'm with her
to help her understand.
But like the sands on the beach
That never was away...
I watch over my surviving mom,
Who thinks of me each day.
She wears a smile for others...
A smile of disguise!
But through Heaven's door I see
Tears flowing from her eyes.
My mom tries to cope with my death
By keeping my memory alive.
But anyone who knows her knows
It is her way to survive.
As I watch over my surviving mom
Through Heaven's open door...
I try to tell her that angels
protect me forever more.
I know that doesn't help her...
Or ease the burden she bears.
So if you get a chance, go visit her...
And show her that you care.
For no matter what she says...
No matter what she feels.
My surviving mom has a broken heart
That time WON'T EVER HEAL!
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THESE SHOES
I wear a pair of shoes
They are ugly shoes
Uncomfortable shoes
I hate my shoes
Each day I wear them and each day I wish I had another pair.
Some days my shoes hurt so bad that I do not think I can take another step
Yet, I continue to wear them
I get funny looks wearing these shoes
They are looks of sympathy.
I can tell in others eyes that they are glad they are my shoes and not theirs
They never talk about my shoes
To learn how awful my shoes are might make them uncomfortable.
To truly understand these shoes you must walk in them.
But, once you put them on, you can never take them off.
I now realize I am not the only one who wears these shoes.
There are many pairs in this world.
Some women are like me and ache daily as they try and walk in them.
Some have learned how to walk in them so they don't hurt quite as much.
Some have worn the shoes so long that days will go by before they think about how much they hurt
No woman deserves to wear these shoes
They have made me who I am.
I will forever walk in the shoes of a woman who has lost a child...
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